January 2011
21 posts
(336): Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And...
– Texts From Last Night
(270): Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
– Texts From Last Night
(909): If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from...
– Texts From Last Night
(203): That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot...
– Texts From Last Night
(973): Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half...
– Texts From Last Night
(917): On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my...
– Texts From Last Night
(815): I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about...
– Texts From Last Night
(626): This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
– Texts From Last Night
(239): Don’t park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk...
– Texts From Last Night